Realtionship

Way More Than Riding

-by Linda Parelli
The toughest thing about relationships between prey animals (horses) and predators (humans) is the inherent fear that horses have of us, no matter how nice we are to them.
Something that will dramatically improve your relationship with your horse is spending undemanding time with them.
Think about it, unless you are feeding your horse, most times you approach him it’s because you want to ‘do’ something with him… even if it’s just grooming him, it is still something that is all about approach and this can become very unsettling and even disturbing for a horse. That’s what makes them hard to catch, resistant, hesitant, annoyed or afraid.
What you’re going to do in this exercise is prove to your horse that you don’t want anything from him and once you’ve proven this he’ll actually get the confidence to come up to you.
You’ll know you’re successful when your horse starts wanting to be next to you and stay next to you and even follow you around… and pretty soon he’ll be more excited to see you and start coming over to you rather than have to be caught.
If your horse is hard to catch, nervous, bracy or tense around you, spending undemanding time with him will be one of the most important things to do to change his negative perception of you.

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INSTRUCTIONS FOR: Undemanding Time Exercise
How long you need
Set aside a full 30 minutes for this task and don’t do it at feeding time. Food in front of a hungry horse is hard to compete with!
What to do
Sit in your horse’s stable, pasture or pen. You can sit on the ground or have a chair and be comfortable. You can even read a book! The idea is not to focus on your horse at all, just be in the same space as him.
Quietly come through the door or gate, set yourself up and ignore your horse. When you want to peek at what he’s doing, do it in a casual way and get back to your book.
Simply do your 30 minutes and then leave.
Do not go up to your horse, don’t reach for him, don’t even think about it. Sometimes just the energy of your expectation or intention is enough to keep a sensitive horse away from you.
Undemanding time means you are asking nothing, just being there.
That might be very hard for you and you will learn a lot about yourself as well as help the relationship between you and your horse.
Likely reactions from your horse
In the first 1 – 4 sessions your horse might…

• Ignore you.
• Move as far away as possible from you.
• Turn his back to you.
• Stand facing you.
• Come check you out and then leave.
• Move around and around with worry.
• Try to get out of the gate.

In the next 4 – 7 sessions your horse might…

• Come and sniff you.
• Approach and leave several times.
• Try to nibble at your toes or clothes, hair, etc.
• Nudge or try to paw at you in a curious way.
• Let out big breaths, start yawning even rolling (this is release of adrenaline / nervousness).
• Stand with his head over you, like a mare does with her foal.
• Fall asleep next to you, standing or lying down.
• Whinny when he sees you coming.
• Meet you at the gate.

Confidence leads to curiosity which is why your horse might then start smelling you and nibbling or wanting to paw at you. These are good things but you may have to end the session or gently drive your horse away from your personal space. The goal is not to have your horse crowd you, it is to evoke his confidence and curiosity so when that happens… mission accomplished! You will know how much to allow. As soon as it feels a bit too uncomfortable for you, gently or more insistently wave your arms and legs until he steps back and away. Then go back to your book or end the session.
How often to repeat it
You need to do this for seven sessions in a row. For the first three or four sessions you might feel like nothing is happening, but a lot is. You just don’t know it. Go through the whole seven and you’ll see things change so long as you’re following the directions properly.
Ideally, you wouldn’t do anything else in the same session. If you still intend to play with him after that, make your exit; wait for a minimum of five minutes (preferably a lot more) so it is a totally separate session with him.
After you’ve completed the seven sessions and your horse is more relaxed and trusting of you, you shouldn’t need to do this again unless all of a sudden something has caused your horse to revert. Then do it once or twice to balance the relationship out again.
Cautions
It is best that your horse is by himself and no other horses are able to get between him and you.
If he nibbles or paws at you allow the gentle stuff, but if it starts feeling uncomfortable for you, gently or more insistently wave your arms and legs until he backs off. You might want to stand up, but don’t go towards him. Do some jumping jacks if he’s getting pushy, but otherwise pet him and end the session.
If your horse is dangerous in any way then sit outside the gate. It might take more than seven sessions before he relaxes and gets more trusting, but the effect is the same.
If your horse is very self-confident and tends to push you around or is mouthy and overbearing, you cannot do the exercise by sitting with him because he might get overzealous and actually become demanding of you! This horse needs something to do, he doesn’t need to feel more confident around you, but maybe what you need to learn is how to become more interesting and provocative in your training sessions so he doesn’t get bored or naughty. Learn more about this by downloading the Horsenality Profile. Undemanding time with this horse can be achieved by grazing him, just hanging out and scratching his itchy spots.
If you try to do this with an aggressive or a wild horse, such as a newly adopted mustang it will take a lot longer than 7 sessions. It is not an efficient way to start, you need something way more powerful such as being the supplier of his water. If you are in the Savvy Club, type Catching into the search engine and learn how Pat Parelli does it. We advise novice horse owners not to attempt this.

Leadership

I wanted to pass on some reflections on a Liberty seminar I attended this 
weekend with Robin Gates, a certified Carolyn Resnick instructor.  I took 
my five year old Paso Fino mare Maia. 
I have been with horses for over 50  years now, am a level 4 student in
Parelli, yet I am awed by what I learned from  Robin. To put it simply, Parelli
puts pressure on the horse to do something (as  light as possible) and
releases pressure when the horse makes a try. This gives  you obedience, but
since beginning exercises are on-line or in a round pen, the  horse feels that
it has no real choice in the matter.  I have often noted a  flatness in the
horse's expression, far different from the dramatic posturing  you see in
horses playing at liberty with each other. Robin establishes  leadership, asks
for movement or stillness with body language, allows the horse  to choose
to stay or go, but rewards liberally if it chooses to follow her feel, 
building a strong bond of respect, trust and a shared sense of joy and  play.   I’
d say it was the  difference between the horse having a job to do for you
or having a passion to  play with you.
When we entered the arena, Maia  was a little distracted but she synced in
with me as I walked, trotted, stopped,  backed up and turned at liberty. 
Robin observed for a bit and asked what I wanted to learn from her during  our
session.  I told her that I  wanted to be a stronger leader for Maia when
she lost confidence.  I wanted her to automatically sync in  with me, not
just when she knew the answer, but also when things fell apart. 
Her first advice was not to carry  treats.  Doing so created a false bond
and engendered a sense of  entitlement in the horse.  Frequent reward is
important to motivate the  horse, but the horse has to accept that the food is
YOUR resource, just as a  lead mare owns that best hay pile. Just like the
lead mare, you MIGHT share  with your horse, but it is your call and your
horse should be at peace with  that. Robin came in to play with Maia.  The first
thing Robin did was establish  that Robin "owned" a bucket of senior feed
next to the fence  in the arena  and that Maia could not go near that bucket
without an invitation from  Robin.  Maia tested that theory a  number of
times as Robin moved farther and farther away from that bucket before  deciding
that Robin was serious. OK, this woman is one tough lead mare.  The only
way to get to that grain is to  ask the lady politely.
Next, Robin asked Maia to come to  her.  Maia was uncertain about  whether
she wanted to have a relationship with someone who would bite her for  going
into that bucket without an invitation. She thought about that for quite a 
long time and Robin left her alone, patiently "present in the moment" with
Maia  while Maia worked out the pros and cons.  As Robin pointed out, for
there to be true choice, the horse has to be  able to leave you without having
an adverse consequence - has to be given the  time to think and truly
choose to be with you rather than away from you. 
Maia's first approach toward  Robin was small, just a couple of steps, but
it was away from the grain.  With each iteration, Maia became more 
confident that Robin was a generous leader if Maia was polite and  respectful.  The
bond between the  two strengthened and Maia became more focused, trusting
and relaxed in following  Robin's feel.  Robin rewarded Maia liberally for
making those  choices, but it was a reward freely offered, not a bribe to do
something, or a  response to Maia begging for treats.  Indeed, begging stopped
because Robin didn’t have any food on her.
I came to Robin’s clinic because  I had read and been fascinated by Carolyn
Resnick’s book, Naked Liberty and her  Waterhole Rituals DVD.  The way
Carolyn interacted freely with  horses at liberty in large spaces was what I
wanted and what had first drawn me  to natural horsemanship.  I  believed,
correctly, that this type of feel, energy and body language must be  experienced
live, rather than read about or watched on a  DVD.  
The second day of the clinic built on the first. 
One of the highlights for me was a trailer loading  exercise. It had taken
one of the participants 2 and a half hours to load her  horse in the trailer
to come to this clinic.  She was apprehensive about  how long it would take
her to load her up to take her horse home Sunday  evening.  Robin had her
start playing at liberty in the arena with the  trailer parked inside and the
door open.  At first they ignored the  trailer, then Robin had Grace walk
up to her near the trailer to talk.  No  question of asking the mare to load
up.  Indeed, if she tried to pass  Grace, they told her whoa.  After each
chat, Grace turned and walked back  to the fence to reward Namaste with a
handful of grain. Within a few iterations,  Grace and Robin were sitting on the
floor of the trailer chatting and Namaste  was sniffing the inside of the
trailer.  
Robin then haltered Namaste and casually walked up to  and into the
trailer, ignoring the mare, just examining the trailer with great  fascination. 
Namaste had some hesitation, but as Robin ignored her and was  raptly focused
on parts of the inside of the trailer, Namaste stepped up  into the trailer
with her two front feet.  Robin paused, then turned and  left the trailer
and Namaste followed her.  
Then Robin did something that made me laugh so much my  ribs ached.  She
unhaltered Namaste, turning her loose and proceeded to  ignore her.  She went
over to the bucket of grain and made a production of  pouring a cup of grain
from one bucket to another, mixing in just the right  number of carrots,
then pouring that into another bucket. Namaste would try to  sneak her nose
into the bucket and Robin would swat it away irritably - "don't  bother me
child - I'm busy with important stuff right now!"  She then  straightened out
as though she were 90 years old and started to slowly hobble  over to the
trailer, Namaste trailing behind her.  Again, Namaste tried to  herd Robin or
stick her nose in the bucket and got it swatted away.  Robin  took multiple
tries to climb into the trailer, and before she succeeded Namaste  had her
front feet in the trailer, looking back with an impatient "Hurry up and  get
in here with my food" look. Robin hobbled to the front of the trailer, 
ignoring Namaste and then made a production again, mixing her bucket of grain 
and carrots properly and before long, Namaste climbed into the trailer and 
finally was allowed to put her nose into the bucket to eat.  Robin walked  out
with one of the two buckets, followed by Namaste and went to get more 
"stuff" and again made a production about getting the mix exactly right before 
hobbling back into the trailer - again preceded by Namaste.  With the focus 
off of the mare, Namaste had nothing to resist and she knew that Robin was 
bringing a very good deal and putting it at the front of the trailer.  
Amazing to watch!
I am truly honored to have  watched this amazing lady work with Maia and
the other horses brought to the  clinic and to watch the changes her method
brought about in the horses' and  participants' understanding, focus, bond and
feel.  I choose to have a  relationship with my horse where the horse has
the right to leave me, but  chooses to stay and follow my feel, not because
he knows I can make him do so,  but because he thinks I'm the best leader he
can find and being with me is being  surrounded by joy, love and respect. 
The horse already knows how to  do everything we want him to do and he knows
how to mirror us.  Those  things come at birth, just from being a horse. 
I'm excited about  incorporating this kind of true bonding and leadership
based on choice, simple,  fluid body language and energy, mutual respect and
appreciation.  
If you have the opportunity to take a clinic  with Robin Gates, don't
hesitate.  Do it.  Your horse will thank  you.
Jackie Decker
Mystic  Ranch
4264 Beagle Road
White City, Oregon  97503
541-826-8400
www.mystic-ranch.com 

Visualization of What I Want

Effective Visualization

Effective visualization is a 6-step process that you can learn in detail in the Silva Method:
1. Know what you want. Be very specific about what you want. Seeing something vague isn’t going to set the wheels in motion for something specific. For example, you can visualize yourself as being “thin” but unless you visualize your ideal body, you could easily end up anorexic-looking! In other words, “define thin!” Define what you want. Your visualization is a command to your subconscious mind. You set your intention by declaring, “this is what I want” and then your mind will start looking for ways to make it happen.
2. Visualize in the present. Don’t imagine what you want as something that ‘might be’ someday… picture it as already accomplished. You want your realities to match up and if your desires live in the future and you live now, you’ll never achieve them.
3. Be in love with what you want. FEEL the image. Emotions are essential. If you’re so-so about a dream, is it worth pursuing? No. If you’re not IN LOVE with your goal, why bother?
4. Focus ONLY on what you want. Do not give any mental power to wondering how you’ll achieve it. Do not give any emotional power to potential obstacles. Remember, what you focus on expands. Focus on the potential struggle – and that’s what you will create. Focus on the potential obstacles – and they will appear. You have to force yourself to focus only on the desired outcome. Things will fall into place for you as your mind becomes attuned to the people, resources and situations that will make your dreams happen.
5. Daily practice: consistency and persistence. Just as you may be conditioned to expect the worst, you must condition yourself to expect the best. Just as you may be conditioned to stop yourself from taking action on anything that scares you, you must condition yourself to take action despite your fears. The more time, mental and emotional energy you spend visualizing yourself achieving (no matter the odds); taking action (no matter your fears); the more power you will give your goals. In scientific terms, what you’re doing with visualization is creating new neural connections that make it easier and easier to think the thoughts you want (thoughts of successful achievement of your dreams); and at the same time, allowing the neural connections that make it easy to think thoughts of failure and fear. You are creating new habits of thought.
6. Believe. This is the hard one. Our logical minds want to know who, what, when, where and how. Once we entertain those questions, doubt creeps in and the struggle begins. Doubt is the beginning of the end. Quickly and deliberately bring your focus back to what you want. It’s not your job to figure out how. That will come on its own. You’ll have a flash of inspiration; the right people will cross your path; you’ll acquire a key skill at just the right time. It really doesn’t matter HOW you achieve. Just have unwavering faith THAT you will achieve.
Don’t worry if you can’t ‘see’ an actual image in your mind. Many people don’t see pictures. They feel emotions, and have specific sensory ideas in mind (visuals, taste, touch, etc.) without actually experiencing the visualization in any physical representation. That’s okay! What is important is the level of intention and emotion you put into it.
Imagination is not just for children and artists. We all imagine… many, many thousands of images/thoughts/feelings every day. How many of these are taking you in the direction of your dreams? Build on those and teach yourself to create the neural connections of success.

Watching Regalo work with Jerilyn

I had to noticed how many times, Regalo checked in with Jerilyn last night.  She had him on a loose 22' line and she had it draping the ground and he was going slow.  She would talk to him via the rope.  Very quite movements and lots of letting him come in to her and she would rub him.  He did the circling game and traveling circle game very well.

Backed him out of the field through the gate was another story.  He decided he could make it out of the gate.  She kept him on a short line and had him focus on her.  When he wanted to go to the right or the left she simply put up an (imaginary electric fence line with the stick) gently moving from one side to another.  He finally would come to rest in the middle.  When he did settle in the middle, quietly she would ask him to back up through the gate.  He had to do it over until he was relaxed and did it one foot at a time.

He took the bit and wore it the hold time she worked him and rode him.  Thought that she would ride him with the bit and the hackmore at the same time, just till he got use to it.

We went into the arena and he was to go over the trot pole slowly and looking where he was going.  This went very well and we moved off to the riding.

He was not to easy at first to get her to mount on the side of the wall.  She told me to take him there a lot and let him get used to it.  Maybe even put some hay or grain there for him to eat.

There was a lot going on in the arena and he was a little nervous.  There was Kitty riding her horse that was wanting to trot around with his head up in the air and her moving all over the arena.  She was going from outside in the woods to moving in the arena sort of fast behind him.  He really didn't like that too much.  Then we had Diane's granddaughter with her son and husband in the mix.

The little boy was running around and looking through the bars of the gate and this made Regalo a little upset.  I had the white chair there and the mounting block for him to maneuver around.  She worked him through the squeeze game and had him moving off her leg and trying to get him to cross the front legs over going towards the right .  (moving his shoulders over)  He really was stiff to this idea and she really worked on it.

He gaited a little not too much, but she said he will want to go into the gait and ask several times if he could gait.   Keeping going in the nice steady pace of walk and small gait he was find.

Diane's granddaughters then rode Fanny out and around the arena at a walk trot and canter along with Regalo riding. He had a lot to contend with last night, but was steady and pretty cool.

All of this was about 2 hours long.  He was hot and sweaty and I took him outside to the wash rack and he was very nervous going through the gate and the fan.

Water hose was scary too.   I had to take the water and move it on the ground towards him and away from him.  Finally just touching his feet and away.  Then this was okay and we went on to wash him all over.  He was then turned out into the woods and I went to rest. 

Rode again

Mounting team says I am getting on faster and off faster.  I hoep so, but still need a lot of help to ride.  He was very nice tonight, but the halter had rings on it and it went by his eye and we had a little up and down, not really bad.  He stopped and we changed it out to the regular halter. 

Once again, we made big circles in both directions and went farther down the  arena and  got really close to the  wall to get off.  He is more relaxed and getting more use to me.  I am happy to ride again.

Back in the saddle again

Tuesday night

I was determined to get back and try riding Regalo.  He has had 6 rides with Jerilyn and he has been doing great on the ground.  So lets try it.

Laura has to be the handler and gets the stirrup ready and hold him.  I tried, but still need Sue to help me get my leg over.  In the saddle, I can feel that I am not balanced and try to open my hips to get in the position so I feel secure.  This is really hard to do now.  I wiggle a little and this upsets Regalo and he starts moving out.  Not fast, but quick.  I can see how easy it would be to go off him.  But will work harder on get the balance back and ride at least once or twice a week. 

We did a few walks stops, circles, bigger circles, figure 8's and backing up.  Once he was okay with me, he settled in and had his head down.  I let go several times and he released as well.  He is do different from Bailey. 

He would stop with just the lettting go of my breath.  He is so senstive.  Can do much with the leg he goes right off. 

Getting off was okay, he got upset with me keep taking him closer to the wall and he didn't know what I wanted.  This will get better each time.  He was light and easy to ride.